Humor

From Youtube.com, Filipino inmates performing Slumdog Millionaire, click here

From Henedine Aquino ’83:   Filipino Poem, only a tunay na Pinoy could have written such a poem! (author anonymous noy’pi)

You are the...

Apple of my eye
Mango of my pie
Palaman of my tinapay
Niyog on my kalamay.

You are the…

Ipin of my suklay
Ring on my kamay
Blood of my atay
Bubbles of my laway.

You are the …

Roof of my bahay
Strength of my tulay
Joy of my tagumpay
Dream of my Nanay.

You are the…

Ube in my monay
Patis in my gulay
Toyo in my siomai
Calcium in my kalansay

You are the…

Buhol of my tie
Bituin of my sky
Beauty of my Tagaytay
Ketchup on my french fry.

You are the…

Wings when I fly
Wind when I paypay
Sipit for my sampay
Tungkod when I am pilay.

You are the…

Shoulder when I cry
Cure to my”aray”
Answer as to “why”
I am nangi-ngisay.

You are the…
Love until I die
In short, you are
The Center Of My Buhay

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM Dr. Ralph Menezes

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine… and those who don’t.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) –
bacteria  found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of
poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or
tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go
through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or
fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing
it as a public service

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Dementia Quiz
Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing…
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly… To assure the accuracy of the results, you should NOTtake your time… answer each of them immediately.
Now, let’s find out just how clever you really are.
Scroll down slowlyto uncover Q’s & A’s

First Question:
You are a participant in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
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Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the lastperson, then you are…?
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Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are … WRONG again.
Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LASTperson?

You’re notvery good at this, areyou?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic!
Note: This must be done in your headonly.
Do NOTuse paper and pencil or a calculator.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10.  What is the total?
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Did you get 5000…?

The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you’ll get the last question right… maybe.

Fourth Question:
Mary’s father has five daughters:

1.Nana,
2.Nene,
3.Nini,
4.Nono, and
5.______, ???
What is the name of the fifthdaughter?
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Did you Answer Nunu?
Of course it’s NOT.
Her name is Mary.
Read the question again, retard!

Bonus round:
(i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself)

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
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It’s really very simple.
He opens his mouth and asks for it.

Does your employer actuallypay you to think?
If so… DONOTlet them see your answers for this test!

PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE “SMART” PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!


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